We, Tariana Turia, Tribune of the People, duly and legally elected by a small proportion of a small proportion of those same people, do hereby pronounce and proclaim, we are appalled.
And with the power vested in us as Associate Minister of Health for the realm of Aotearoa New Zealand, a position attained through political expedience rather than by any perception of merit, we shall act.
Our subjects may recall that in the Year of our Lord 2011 we issued the "Wag That Finger and Say Tut-tut" edict, the purpose of which was to shame and vilify smokers, thereby propelling one in five of the adult population of the realm, more people indeed than voted for the Labour Party at the last election, out of the moral mainstream and on to the distant shoals of ostracism where they belong. And we are pleased to report that the campaign has proved popular with those who know what's good for others. Citizens, we commend you.
... and you can read the rest of Joe Bennett's version of The Proclamation yourself.
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